Friday, May 07, 2004

Why did I want to act again?

So I wrote on April 2nd that I was in another play. Opening night is tonight and I really just want it all to be over. The director SUCKS. Like big time sucks. And he has pissed off every member of the cast, and some of the crew as well (perhaps all of the crew, but I know the cast better). But worst of all is he has helped me discover my inner monster.

Dear god, I am an unbelievable bitch. Shit flies out of my mouth and before I know what's happening I've said things like "But the fourth act is fucking dragging and the audience is going to walk out, if they hadn't already." I have challenged almost everything for the past two weeks, loudly and petulantly. He makes me want to scream. He has no vision of this play other than "Things in 1900 were s l o w. And not funny.

Oh, and I haven't even mentioned some of his winning comments. Like (regarding a 23 second alarm effect where no one must speak or move (and this is a straight version of Chekhov, nothing experimental)) "This play has a lot of text, and the audience is going to get tired of hearing it so they want to listen to the sound effects." Gee, if we are so fucking tedious that they are tired of listening to the TEXT of a PLAY, what does that say about the production as a whole? Every move, every nuance is dragged down and unnatural.
servant enters. All other characters stop speaking, watch servant enter for 10 seconds. Resume dialog

Oh, and how about not showing up to let us in the theatre when we were supposed to be in and we had to wait almost an hour? And being late EVERY SINGLE TIME and having the audacity to then chastise actors by telling them to be on time (there has been only one actor who has been late without calling first. Most of us are early). Chronic lateness and pointless babbling when he finally does show up leading to rehearsals starting 30 minutes late is we're lucky, but usually later.

Three more days. That's all I need to get through, three more days.

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