Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Man! I gotta keep blogging!

I just looked up "Teru" on Google and an I was the second listing! I wonder what it will take for me to be the I'm Feeling Lucky result

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Well I was wrong about the snow being all gone. It cooled down enough the there's still a bit left in the grass and a few light flurries are whiping about in the air


I knew it was going to be cold this morning (30s moving down into the teens tonight), so I hauled out the wool pants and layered up with shorts, knee socks (the pants are unlined military surplus and really itchy without the extra layer), JOP t-shirt and turtleneck. It wasn't until I was dressed and looking for my winter coat that I finally looked outside and saw the dusting of snow we got during the night.


I love snow, and don't see nearly enough of it in the city. All my winter memories are of growing up on the mountain and the huge snowfalls we would get every winter. Snow made everything more magical. When the trees were heavy with their white canopy, the woods took on an element of the surreal. They could hide fairy castles and be alien worlds all in the same game.

We lived on a hill (actually the side of a mountain, but our whole yard was on an incline) and it was perfect for sledding. The long stretch between the house and the yard, or the back fence and the yard if you were feeling ambitious, allowed for long rides where you could gain some incredible speeds. Ramps of snow were often placed in the sledding paths to provide that extra excitement of flying, before landing with a thump and continuing on to the bottom.

At the end of the lawn was the turn-around that was our driveway. In the bend of this half-circle was a ditch, separating the driveway from the road, and giving us an extra play space (as well as providing some defense against careening into the road on a sledding run.) My friends and I would dig tunnels in the snow and build forts to defend in massive snowball wars. We would stay out until we were soaked through and chilled and finally called inside to dry off and warm ourselves next to the woodstove with steaming cups of cocoa.

Today's snow will be gone by noon, and being close to the ocean, we're unlikely to get the volumes of snow I remember from my youth. But the memories will sustain me.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

How to make your kids hate Christmas

Give them the Ann Coulter Talking Action Figure. Says 14 different phrases, including such gems as. "“Why not go to war for oil? We need oil. What do Hollywood celebrities think fuels their jets? How do they think their cocaine is delivered?" and "Liberals can't just come out and say they want to take more of our money, kill babies, and discriminate on the basis of race."

This woman just makes my skin crawl.

(bonus horror for the kids: TOP GUN George W. Bush Action Figure)

Monday, November 24, 2003

Got me some new clothes

My JOP shirt finally arrived today! It got lost due to the Royal Mail strike and they were going to send me a new one, but then lo and behold, the original one I ordered on October 1 showed up today. I've no idea if they already sent the replacement out yet (although I emailed to say this one arrived), but hey, two shirts is cool too.

And, I was their first US customer!

The Gods of Paperwork are not Smiling upon me

*sigh* Payraise not in this cheque. But it, and the restro pay should be in the next one (in two weeks)

Friday, November 21, 2003

Miss Digital World

"Miss Digital World is the first ever virtual beauty contest, strictly for the most beautiful and intriguing virtual models made using the most advanced 3D graphics tools."

What I'm not understanding is who this contest is gared toward. They seem to be soliciting images from women, but don't say how the artists enter the contest. What if I wanted to do both? Sure, I don't have that sort of software just lying about, but I'm on a pretty big campus and it would be fun to try it.

Say, those are some nice moves! What do you call that? - It's the Upgrade Dance!

Fuckin' A Dittybag, I got me a pay raise! And not just a raise, mind you, but a raise that is retroactive back to May 1!!! If they managed to get all the paper work in on time, I should be seeing a VERY nice paycheck next week.

Monday, November 10, 2003


I'm ill again. This is the third time since July. That is much more than normal for me. Glad tomorrow's a holiday so I can just sleep.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Remember, Remember the Fifth of November

For some of you, it's just another Guy Fawkes Day. For other's it's just Wednesday. For me, it's The Doc's birthday. Happy Birthday sweetheart!

But November 5th isn't just a day for cute babies to be born in Croydon. It's also a day for cute babies to be born in Manila, evidenced by today also being the birthday of Accordion Guy Jose Martin "Joey" deVilla. Making it a good day overall for Martins of the world.

Joey blogs other birthdays today, most notable, for me at least, Armin Shimerman.

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Random Rambling

Herr Doktor is, as I write, getting some much needed rest, somewhere in London. He went down this morning to look at some roommate situations and ended up doing a lot of biking before setting in at a café in Fulham to email me.

Last night, as I was going to bed, belly and brain full of wine, he called me as he had just gotten up. He's been really stressed about taking a new job and moving away and he's been really pissy all week. But I tried to let it roll off me as I know change can be hard and there is always that fear of the unknown. But, as I was saying, he called me and it was so good to hear his voice again.

We don't talk on the phone as much as we did before I went to London. This is probably a good thing as even though he had some wonderful international rates (so much better than mine that he was almost always the one to call), it still adds up when you call every day and talk for at least an hour each time. Most of the time we communicate through email, and IM and on the forums. It's easy to forget that he is a real, flesh-and-blood person and not just text on a screen, the product of my dreams (or Moloch, which would be very odd).

When I hear is voice, and sense the emotion in it, I can almost feel him again, his arms around me, and smell his skin. He is real, this is real, and it feels wonderful.

Friday, October 31, 2003

Oscar Wilde only wished he was this gay

I had originally planned to be Tinkerbell at work for Halloween, but then the thought occurred that with my new shorter hair and better figure, I could be Mr. B Natural, known best to fans of MST3K from the short before War of the Colossal Beast (ep 319, if you're counting).

Tried to make a jacket, but then I got sick and had no desire to sit down and sew, so I cheated and bought a blazer at the Goodwill for $6 and accessorized with the felt that I bought. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite capture the full appeal of Mr B as the jacket is kind of big and doesn't show off my breasts, but the shiny leotard is visible (the word "Speedo" fortunately covered) and it is, I think, a suitable scary image for the feast of the dead.
if only an androgynous man would come and visit me
See Buzz, it's fun to be psychotic

The Visual Thesaurus

The Visual Thesaurus, a Dictionary of the English Language is a techno word nerd wet dream! I could spend weeks playing with this

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I guess it's neat that everyone wants to be a dork these days, but it sure makes me feel trendy. But then, I think I might have even been invisble to the dorks.

If Ian R. Williams, in the article 'Twilight of the dorks?' in today's Salon, is to be believed, I'm more of a loser since I didn't have any particular thing that I gravitated towards
It's important to define what I truly mean by "dork," just so he or she doesn't get casually lumped in with "losers," "burnouts" and "lone psychopath bullies." To me, the dork is somebody who didn't fit in at school and who therefore sought consolation in a particular field -- computers, "Star Trek," theater, heavy metal, medieval war reenactments, fantasy, sports trivia, even isolation sports like cross-country and ice skating. I'd also include the Anne Rice obsessed (goths), the car enthusiasts (gearheads), and the seemingly homosexual (gaywads).
Being more of the past-time nobody else wants dilettante, I gravitated to thing as diverse as reading the encyclopedia, building things with my 200-In-1 Electronics Kit or reading way above my grade level.

Ah well. Let's just hope losers never come into fashion

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

I'm to the right of, but less authoitarian than Ghandi

I like online tests. So far this week I've learned that I have not been abducted by aliens and that I'm a flaming liberal. Neither really suprised me.

My Political Compass:
Economic Left/Right: -6.38
Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.95
Boss Lady sent me home. Hey, I've got a ton of sick days saved up, so I might as well be here feeling mildly nauseous than at work feeling mildly nauseous. I still have to go out later and buy cat food, but I can nap and read and all that other day-off stuff first. And eat bland bread products. Joy.

Well that was petulent

I'm feeling a bit off this morning. When I got on the train, I started to feel ill and figured it was just from tea and a multivitamin on an empty stomach, but if I'm posting pissy things (and wrote and email to my love that was just as irritated), I'm probably feeling off in a general sense.

But I'm at work now and have a clear calendar. If I'm still feeling oogie later, I'll just go home. But first, some bread to settle my stomach.

New blog entry

Just 'cuz. Exciting? No.

The Doc complained that I haven't written anything, but since I've had nothing at all to write, I thought it best to leave this un-updated. Obviously I'm not taking my own advice

Monday, October 20, 2003

Ridiculed and Chastized

Okay, perhaps not ridiculed, but definately chastized for not blogging. The Doc is waiting for me to blog more about his visit (not that he's posted anything yet) and I just haven't been up to any non-food blogging yet.

What I have been up to is getting into my cold weather hobby: knitting. I finished his hat while he was here, and have started working on the matching scarf. I unfortunately started it with #7 needles and should be doing it with #6, so I have to start over. I the mean time, I made a catnip eggroll for Bogie from He seems to dig it.

The Doc did actually leave the hat here (in my backpack that he was using to carry his laptop) and I ended up wearing it to work today because my hair was still wet when I left the house. On him, it looks kind of thuggy. On me, it looks like I'm coming home from chemo. But I've only got the shot of him.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Just barely work-safe

I'm going through some of the pictures and videos from The Doc's visit and feel compelled to post this video of us kissing. Not only do you, the reader, get to experience vicarious thrills of two random people kissing in bed, you get to see my amazing multi-tasking skills as I hold the camera while snogging.

And no, there is no sound on it.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Memories of Ice Cream Kisses

Well, The Doc is off, sitting somewhere near his gate now at Logan. I saw him as far as security would allow and then made my way outside for a smoke and a sob on my way to a taxi.

This week has been wonderful. I think we've discovered that tourism makes me cranky (the worst I got was when we went to the Museum of Science and I just wanted to be alone and cry when we got home), but aside from that, we did well together for a week. The bed is going to be lonely without him. And I think tea may be my new breakfast item.

He may be the only person whose first impression of Boston is all the Asian food. I seemed to take him on the Pan-Asian Food Fest Tour, starting with dim saam on Sunday, my own stir-fry on Monday, noodles (lo mein and chow fun) on Wednesday, various Malaysian things on Thursday, Thai on Friday and finally, vegetarian Vietnamese today. At least he knows how I usually eat. (and he did at least get junk food at the Lowell Lock Monsters game)

Ice cream has been another big feature. He loves Ben and Jerry's Half Baked ice cream, which I bought for co-op when we hosted last Sunday. Store24 down the street carries it too, so he had several pints during the week. He bought a pint tonight to eat in the airport, and finished it while we sat on a bench after he checked in. He gave me ice cream kisses before he left.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Having a lovely holiday

As hostesses go, I've been pretty crappy, only taking him to the Museum of Science and wandering around Chinatown and Harvard Square. But he's gotten to see a lot of my bed, so that's cool.

Oh, and we went out to Edrie's last night for dinner, which gave him a chance to see somthing other than the city for a change. And she gave him a wonderful birthday present of a watch. So now he can stop asking me what time it is :-)

Monday, October 06, 2003

He's here

The Doc made it here, safe and sound. He got a little hung up at immigration, but made it through, none the worse for wear.

Sunday we went in to Boston's wee Chinatown and had dim saam with my Cantonese teacher at Grand China (now called Empire Garden, but everyone still knows it as Grand China), which is in an old theatre and sill has the beautiful ceilings with murals and gold trim. He got to try lots of things he's never had (or heard of) and it was quite fun.

Later we went to Filene's and I bought him two shirts, because they were on sale and I thought they would look good on him :-) By the time I got him home, jet lag was taking its toll and a pre- co-op nap was in order. He seemed to get on well with the co-op group (and it was nearly a full house) and a good time was had by all.

So today it was Show The Bit of Stuff Around the Office Day. That went well too and then I brought him home to make it Uninstall the Air Conditioner Day (as well as Shove all this Crap in the Closet Because the Landlord is Coming Tomorrow Day). Now, you may recall that it took me three days to get that thing in the window (1, 2, 3), but it only took him about 15 seconds to grab it and place it in the box in the next room. I think I need him to come back next June when I want it back in the window.

And he's handy for getting things off the top shelf too!

Friday, October 03, 2003

Arrival Immanent

The Doc will be hopping a train (in the paid for a ticket kind of way, not the hobo way) after work today to take him down to London. It's a four hour train ride, but he'll still be getting there 14 hours before his plane leave. It would be a good time to check out some museums (most have coat/bag checks so he wouldn't need to lug the backpack around), get a meal or three or some such.

Unfortunately this also means that we will be out of contact for a while. I'll just have to send out my good vibes (and maybe hope he stops at Bar Italia in Soho for a little laptop time) and clean, and await his arrival Saturday evening.


He doesn't even like cats, but Accordion Guy has declaired today First Annual Post a Picture of a Cat to Your Blog day. So here is mine.

Cat stats:
Age - 12
Sex - Male (neutered)
Breed - Siamese mix
Disposition - grumpy
Health - not bad overall, but he need prescription food

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

oh and your body

What a great e-mail to wake up to:
I makes no secret I fell in love with your geekish nature and yet forward logical outlook on life.
oh and your body ;-)

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Commenting issues

There's a problem with my commenting service so I have taken that off the blog for now

Monday, September 29, 2003

Director Elia Kazan dies at 94

Not a happy weekend in Hollywood. Director Elia Kazan died on Sunday at the age of 94. He won a Tony for directing "J.B.," and Oscars for "Gentleman's Agreement" in 1948 and "On the Waterfront" in 1955.
It was through Kazan's input while directing "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" that Tennesee Williams changed the ending to the play, which he conceds was much better than the original.

Actor, Dancer Donald O'Connor Dies

I heard this at co-op last night. Too sad. According to his family, among his last words were the sentiment,
"I'd like to thank the Academy for my lifetime achievement award that I will eventually get." O'Connor won an Emmy for "The Colgate Comedy Hour" in 1954.
He was 78.

Friday, September 26, 2003

George Plimpton, author of 'Paper Lion,' dies at 76

George Plimpton died yesterday at the age of 76, cause unknown.

This is turning into a sad day.

Robert Plamer

Robert Palmer, who most of my generation will know for his synthpop hits in the late 80s, and his natty suits, died from a heart attack today in Paris. He was 54.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Feeling Ignored

I haven't heard from The Doc all day. Actually, I haven't heard from him since last night when I said I wasn't sure I would be up for a phone call. I have been so freaking busy at work, and am completely unprepared for my class, haven't cleaned yet to prepare for his visit and haven't had a chance to get out and exercise. And that's just a general rundown of the week, yesterday was even worse.

But I did leave work on time and went home to have a hot bath (an attempt to lossen my shoulder which had seized up) and tried to get in touch with him to see if he wanted to talk. But to no avail. I could have just called him, but unless he knows I'm going to call, he never hears the phone. It just rings and rings.

So now I think I've pissed him off, but can't even find out since he won't answer my emails (and I do know he's been in touch with other people today). Which is kind of why I'm blogging this, in the hopes that he'll read it and at least write a one line comment to let me know whaat's going on.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Other people seem to be more exited about The Doc's visit than am. It's not that I'm not looking forward to it, but I just don't seem to have it in me to be jumping up and down excited like some of the people I've told.

My biggest focus right now is on meeting him at the airport. I'll be trying to do work and suddenly I think about seeing him coming through customs, running up, throwing my arms around him and kissing him. That thought makes me smile and I am unable to concentrate on anythinge else.

So I guess you could say I'm excited in my own, quiet way.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Reciprical Visit

The Doc is coming to visit. He booked his ticket on Friday and will be here in TWO WEEKS!

In the time that we've been together, I've opened myself up to him more than I have to any other man I've dated. This may be a result of creating a relationship without constant physical proximity the way most people have. Because we are "together" throught email and things like the sobbing phone call of Friday night (period. mine, not the end of sentence kind), there is more of a need to reveal things to let the other know what is going on.

But there is also a safety in this. I can sit at home and cry while I type an email and not have to explane why I'm crying (because I just AM, okay?) and can talk more about other things such as why I am looking forward to him visiting (aside fom the sex), or how my cramps used to be so bad when I was in high school that I would throw up. I can get this across in text without having to pause for the sobs which may have nothing to do with what I am trying to say.

Not sure whee I'm going with this. I thought I had a point somewhere but seem to have lost it.

Anyway, he'll be here October 4th. So I have plenty of time to clean my room :-)

Friday, September 19, 2003

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Okay, so now I'm a little embarrased

Basim from Malice in Leatherland read the review I did on the show with RobotZen and The Gasolines. Now it was not a flattering review, but what I didn't know was that it was their first show. Also, nowhere in the review did I mention what a good bass player he is, which is just stupidity on my part because I did notice it during their set and Steve from RobotZen even mentioned it after the show.

So, while I still was not impressed with that performance, I will certainly give them another shot. Oh, and many thanks for the TAB, Basim!

Tuesday, September 16, 2003


So I went to the cattle call tonight. I auditioned for The Real Thing (Stoppard), Noises Off (Frayn), and Six Degrees of Separation (Guare). I had planned to do All's Well That Ends Well too, but had forgotten to sign up. I think I'll do that one later this week though along with The River, Ajax and Faust . If I'm feeling really ambitious, I'll do Hedwig too, but all I could get in that would be Hansel's mother or maybe Yitzhak (although I'd have to learn to play guitar for that).

All in all, the auditions weren't that bad. The first one, The Real Thing went the best of all of them, but even then it was hard to tell since the only feedback is "That was great!" Yeah, well everybody said that last Spring too and I didn't get anything. But I know what to expect from it all now, so I think the disappointment will not be as bad if I don't even get a call back. And I've still got the acting class, which I want to be my main focus this semester.

Monday, September 15, 2003

Of Semeser's Begining, Acting Jitters, and the Cold Sore from Hell

I have a cold sore under my nose. Dammit. I used to get them at the beginning of each semester for the first couple of years after I came back to school. I haven’t had this problem for ages, but today is the first day of the semester, and Thursday will be my first class at the graduate level and it appears my stress indicator is back. Oh, and it’s right in time for the week-long cattle call of auditions for this semester’s plays. Fuck.

And speaking of auditions, I don’t even feel like going. I did the audition blitz last spring. A friend of mine I met in intro acting tried out for the advanced class (it’s by audition) and didn’t get in. So he was feeling low, but I talked him into going with me and auditioning for a bunch of things, just to “get back on the horse.” The weekend came and callbacks were posted, neither of us had been called back. Okay, that was fine, the theatre is notoriously incestuous and college theatre may be even more so. The next week cam and cast lists were posted. Again, nada. But then he got a call. He got a part in Twelfth Night.

I had also auditioned for that and it was the best audition I had. The director said I really seemed to understand the speech (I’ve never found Shakespeare all that difficult) and was all smiles etc, etc. But I didn’t get in. Now I did have a lot of time constraints what with take my last two classes in order to graduate, so I’m sure that was a factor (she says, consoling herself), but it still hurt (when I didn’t get a callback I cried on the way home).

So I’m feeling a little gun-shy about the whole thing this semester. My friend, having done one performance, now has an “in” in that I do not. And I won’t get one until I can actually say I’ve done something other than high school theatre or a couple of acting classes. An, of course, the only way to get a part to build that resume is to audition. You see my problem.

I signed up for a couple of community theatre mailing lists that send out casting calls, but haven’t gone to any yet. Perhaps when I don’t get in to any of the school plays (so much for positive attitude), I’ll suck it up and go to one of those. Of course that requires a headshot.

Now, Naz could do the headshot (right now I’m working with a crap printout of a digital photo I took myself), but right now, and here we get into the good news of the weekend, she’s stressing about preparing for her first solo photography exhibit. I don’t want to add any stress to that, but snapping a few shots of me might also get her back into the swing of things after having put that part of her life aside for a while. I don’t know. I’m babbling. Time for coffee.

Shameless Plug

... for a company I haven't even ordered from. Joy of Propaganda has reduced their prices to £15.50, which is about $25. The were £18.50 before, which was just a bit much for me, especially given the £6 shipping cost to the US. But now I don't feel so bad about getting something (not that I would have felt "bad", until I looked at my bank balance that is). And my officemate wanted one too but was waffling.

Now comes the hard part: which one do I get?

Friday, September 12, 2003

Satan unhappy with progress in negotiations

Satan says he'll wait out Sabres, play in Slovakia
A friend sent me this yesterday. We still can't help giggling when reading his name, even though we know it's not pronounced that way.

Oh, and they have a link to his stats too. I wish I was the sicko that gave him that stats ID. Sometimes it's good to be a DBA

John Ritter 1948-2003

Wait, sitcom stars aren't supposed to die.
John Ritter, known to most as Jack from the 1970's sitcom 'Three's Company' (please people, as far as legacies go, just try to remember one other roll, please?), collapsed on the set of his show '8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter.' He was rushed to the hospital where he died. Cause of death was a previously undetected heart problem.

Johnny Cash 1932-2003

Johnny Cash, the Man In Black, whose career spanned over 50 years, died last night due to complications from diabetes. He was 71.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

It's the Economy, Stupid

My mom lost her job yesterday. They still have a couple three weeks to get things settled, but then the store will be closed. She knew it was coming, but that doesn't make it any easier.

My dad called last night and apologized for having still not gotten me my graduation present because he hasn't worked since the middle of July. He was without a car for three weeks too, which is a bitch living out where he does.

Both my parents have work in the arts, in various capacities (mom in retail/rental, dad self employed contract-type work). When the money stops flowing into the homes in our culture, the arts are one of the first things to go. I heard that in Argentina the performing arts is the only industry doing well. There people use the arts as solace and are willing to spend "extra" income on this form of entertainment (and they get more government funding too as it's seen as something important to society). Here people go for the passive entertainment of television, where they don't need to leave their homes.

Mom had been looking around for work before all this came down, and may have a shot at a state program in social work. It would mean less money, but more than unemployment. And my stepfather is still teaching at the high school, and it's math so it won't get cut.

My dad has had dry spells in employment before, like the 6 months when he was dealing with a broken leg, but he's also had a second income in the house then. Since he broke up with his girlfriend, it's just his income supporting him and the girlfriend's daughter (who still lives there. Odd situation, but all her mother's exs seem to take on the parenting responsibility and now she has my dad plus two other dads who live in the area and are around a lot. And strangely are good friends with my dad too. but I digress). Dad lands on his feet though, and I'm sure he'll be okay. The hard part is the lack of work and the break-up are really getting him down.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Reprieve (of sorts)

So it turns out the landlord is not coming tomorrow and will let us know when he's rescheduled the inspection. Whew! Not that this should be an excuse to slack (but it is), but I like having a little extra time to figure out what I'm doing with things.

As part of tonight's cleaning, I emptied boxes I brought home from my old job when they laid me off. In January 2000 (I know, I know). I threw out lots of tchotchkies and things, but had some interesting things in gile folders, like early course work from when I started back in with my bachelor's and a real bummer of a piece I wrote when my boyfriend broke up with me in '96. No, I don't know why I had been keeping that at work either.

So now I have two big empty boxes, into which I might store clothes. Although that would mean putting the boxes back where they were, which will just take up space. Edrie suggested a higher bed, but that would mean getting a totally new futon frame, and I'm just not up for that right now. Maybe when I'm a little more out of debit. Cleaning my closit and getting rid of clothes I will never wear again will help too. Of course those things are all stored in the closes so it might be a while til I get to that

a page of little or no importance - Now with Fresh Comment Flavor!

I added a comments section to the blog. It's free stuff so I can't guarentee it will always be up, but hey, it's free!

Independent Burlington radio station feels FCC heat

Remind me again what "freedoms" the "terrorists" are supposed to hate. Is it the freedom to have all broadcasts mediated by giant corporations? Oh wait, maybe it is the freedom to have government agencies enter and search without a warrent. Now, wait, I think that one is barred by the constitution. Must be the former then.

The stress ends when?

Oh, it's shaping up to be another wonderful day at work. All of our servers are down, and while I could get external webpages when I first came in, after restarting my computer, in the hopes that maybe it was just me that couldn't get on to network drives, I can't get any web connection (I'm writing this off-line right now). We had troubles with our switch a few times in the last couple of weeks so I was hoping it was just that, but after trying one other machine in our department (again to be sure it wasn't just my jack) I went over to another part of the building on a different switch and found the same problem. Fortunately when I got back one of the server managers was in (I don't even have a key to the server room which makes restarting the fun on the few times I've had to do it) and he is working on it now.
This just in: they shut them down on purpose (this apparently decided after I left last night and no one bothered to leave me a note). Boss Lady sent an email about it last night around 7, but since I don't check my work email from home, unless I'm out sick, you know, not just the regular 15 hours that I'm not here, I obviously didn't get it. Now come on, they know I come in early, wouldn't giving me a heads up be a good thing?

Tuesday, September 09, 2003


My room is a pit. I haven't cleaned it in at least two years and it's at the point of zero floor-space. Oh, and the landlord is coming with MassPort people on Thursday to check our windows, which might get replaced to reduce the noise of living in a flight path (not that it bothered me the past five years.) So I need to clean, or at least shovel a path to the windows.

I spent almost an hour today mucking out the room, folding clothes, piling up books, throwing out crap with ruthless abandon (why did I keep the cardboard inserts from panyhose packages? tell me). It's nowhere near done. I filled one giant bag and threw that out, but need to really get down to it tomorrow. I just can't face any more of it today.

I know that two days is not going to get it really clean, but it will be a start. If I an resolve to spend one hour, once or twice a week working on the room and the closets (you don't even want to know about the closets), maybe I can get it somewhat presentable for when The Doc comes to visit.

Unfortunately, I've discovered that my apathy and tendency to procrastinate has gotten to the point where if I'm going to get anything done, I pretty much need to be told to do it. Fuck. This may be one more thing I ask The Doc to hound me about.

Stress (yet again)

AAARRGGGH! So I come in to work today to our new intranet not being up yet. We told staff it would be up today (gee guys, we didn't say what time it would be up, did we?) and the dns transfer request didn't go in until late this morning. UGH. It did finally go at noon, but we've been finding issues (no, you're old bookmark is wrong; hmm, try restarting your machine; gee, you're right, we did forget to move that entire application).

We also had a whole giganto section of the public site that I was supposed to transfer today, but had to wait for the web manager to show back up in the office before I could do anything. But that did finally get up without a hitch, so that was one good thing.

The overall stress today has been making me want to hit the vending machine (not literally, although that migt be nice too), but I have managed to control myself. Barely

Monday, September 08, 2003

The Diet hasn't killed me yet

Okay, so it's only day one, but I think I might be in danger of being shot down by police for throtling the crap out of someone for eating a cookie in front of me. But maybe not. We gave out cookies today to people who came to our new intranet orientation and I was not tempted at all. Of course the cookies didn't actually look tasty, so that probably helped.

In addition to charting all my food and stuff on the Weight Watchers online thingie (I'm doing the online version, not the meetings), I also have another blog for it. It's linked on the side (has been for some time, but I just deleted all the old stuff and started fresh). It's just one more way to keep me honest.
Singer and songwriter Warren Zevon dead at age 56
Ohmigod. I was not expecting this so soon.

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Anita Mui no stranger to ordeals - SEPT 7, 2003

I found out today in my Cantonese class that Anita Mui has cancer. It was on the front page of the paper my teacher gets, with a picture of her surrounded by lots of supporters. She's vowed to fight it and not give up. I hope it works.

RobotZen makes the grade

Or at least makes the free paper that most people around here pick up because it's foisted on them at the T. Too cool! They have a box with a picture on page 20

Friday, September 05, 2003

Friday at last

For a short week, it's been really busy. Actually, for a normal-length work week it's been busy. The Doc is sending me cyber kisses and snuggles to keep me going, but I'm still wishing I could just have a day in bed.

School starts up the week of the 15th. Students are already coming in and the square is getting lively. I'm taking my first graduate-level class (acting of all things) and will probably try out for some of the plays this semester too. I don't have the confidence I did in the spring when I auditioned (because I got nothing) but I'll probably do it with a friend who is certain he'll get into at least one show. He does have the advantage though since he got in to Twelfth Night last spring and did a corking job.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Work. Ugh.

Work has been kicking my ass. I woke up around 3:30 this morning fretting about all the stuff that needs to get done before we go live with out new intranet (okay, I think I actually woke because I had to pee, but I stayed awake worrying).

I got one training out of the way today (sort of) and have three tomorrow. And today I was asked if we could move the big meeting for the staff introduction to it because some people can't go. Um, gee, we've already scheduled the dns change and it's only a matter of how it looks to staff since they don't have to do any modifications to it AND we've scheduled a 4 hour time-slot for drop-in sessions where they can learn how to click a fucking hyperlink, so I would say, um, NO!

But I'm not bitter

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Charles Bronson, 1921-2003

Okay, so I've been slack on the Page of Death entries. Bob Hope died when I was in London and I wasn't blogging then. But I did have to mention that Charles Bronson died yesterday.

Monday, September 01, 2003

Edrie's Blog - still a work in Progress

I got Edrie's blog to work without having all the links run off the side, but now I'm trying to design a new look. Having major issues with the green and orange, but wil wait to hear from her before doing anything drastic.

Sunday, August 31, 2003

Kinda why I don't go to Cons

Poor Accordion Guy got dissed at a Sci-Fi Con. Maybe he should have scattered laptops about the place with choice blog entries in a geek version of cocking his leg. Don't feel bad, I stink of the mundane too.
But really, a fan dissing an accordion player? That's hot pot-on-kettle action, dont you think?

Hey Edrie

Your blog is fixed. I went with a basic table structure as it's more cross-browser compatable. If you want, I can make another design

Yeah, I worry

The Doc gave me a hell of a scare yesterday. I had gotten no email from him and when I called his house, his sister said she hadn't seen him all day. Normally I wouldn't have been bothered, but after the drama of Thursday night/Friday morning (and actually continuing into Friday night too), I was afraid something had happened to him.

We had talked before about what each would do if the other other lost contact. I thought I would just call and everything would be okay, but now I know that that is not always the case. Being 3000 miles away definately has it's disadvantages. What I did do after not reaching him on the phone was email the one friend of his whose name I knew (after finding his email adress online but not his phone number). My next step was going to be to blog a plea to anyone who might know him who reads this blog. After that I was going to hit H2G2 and then start calling hospitals in the morning. Fortunately, he called me as I was blogging.

He's fine. He was at a friend's, the one I emailed actually. I cried with relief whne he called.

Saturday, August 30, 2003

RobotZen's Secret CD Release

I went out to a concert last night at Jacques Underground. Jacques is a drag bar, but they have bands play in the basement. I was going to see RobotZen, since I missed their last two shows (the first due to work and the second was when I was in England). They were the second of three bands and I don't think you could have gotten three more disparate groups together.

First up was Malice in Leatherland, a group of three young folk who fancied themselves a goth band (although someone should really let the guitar player in on that as he seemed under the assumption that they were metal), all make-up and skirt-wearing male lead singer. They were loud. There were, well, not very good. The drummer has potential if she could spend a little time on playing and a bit less on attitude.

The thought struck me today that her stylized arm movements were a lot like taiko. Maybe this is the first time she's used a drum kit.

For their last song, they brought up a woman to sing who fortunately use the guitarist's mic as that was not turned up very much. Ugh. Over-all, I wish I had been drunk for their set.

RobotZen was up next. The performers were Steve on guitar, Sue on vocals and D.J. Funkypants on OS X. Okay, I made that last name up, but she did have funky pants and was doing the live mixing on a Mac (and yes, it was OS X). The guitar wasn't amplified enough for the first song, but they did turn it up twice after that (although Naz found that she couldn't hear Sue as well after it got turned up the second time). I really enjoyed their set. Sue has such a haunting voice (like what Nico would sound like if she could carry a tune), and let's face it, is just cute as a button. This was also the first time I've seen Steve perform and it was interesting to see his stage presence, which is a lot like his normal presence after he's gotten to know you for a really long time and you're not in a large group situation. Rather strange that.

To show that I'm not just a gushing friend, I will say that there was a clunker of a note on the harmonizing of one song, but it was just the one note, the one time. And after they did a cover of 'White Rabbit' Naz turned and said the exact words I was thinking: "That’s a really hard song." I think they probably could do that one if they played it a lot, but it's just a damned difficult piece. Over all I really enjoyed the music, and Steve's blues cover was really fun too.

The Gasolines were the last act, consisting of bass, guitar/lead vocal and drums. They were good, standard rock fare. They played well and well together, but they could use another singer as the guitarist/vocalist just didn’t have a voice that went well with their sound.

A fun night and I didn't even stay out too late.

Friday, August 29, 2003

Gone from sad to angry

After stewing all day about The Doc's current situation, I've gotten really angry. He is, for all intents and purposes, parenting his 13 year old sister. Firstly, this is not fair to him as there is no reason why their mother should not be doing the basics of up keep (food, bills, showing up once in a while). Secondly, there has been no history of discipline. Now, I don't mean smacking the kids when they "get out of line," I mean instilling a sense of what is acceptable behavior if you want to get along in the household or in society at large (you know, the things that parents are supposed to teach but insist on foisting off on the schools, television, video games, etc. here in the US).

My parents did not believe in physical punishment. As a consiquence, when I did something they felt warrented punishment (letting a sheep escape when I was seven, for example), they took away "privlages." Yes, parents, television is a privlage. I had enforced bed times until I was in my mid teens and after that, an enforced curfew until I went to college. After years of this, I was kept "in line" by my own sense of guilt (and my mother saying my name in that tone).

Okay, I don't know where I'm really going with this, other than needing to get it off my chest.

It breaks my heart

My love just wrote a gut-wrenching tale in his journal. It just kills me to see the living situation he is trapped in, but aside from giving him moral support, and helping him to look for a new job, I don't know what I can do.

Darling, I love you.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Random Crap

I'm having this overwhelming need to fix Edrie's blog template. Her side links keep running off the table.

Living in a Material World

So I whored myself out to market research today. C_ does focus groups a lot, which involves giving your opinion on things in exchange for cash. She got called to do a music one today and they asked her if she knew anyone else who was interested so she handed the phone to me. They were doing programming research for a soft rock/r&b station (not that they said that, but the questions were very leading) and paying $50 for two hours. Okay, so what better things did I have to do (well, spend $10 on a kung fu flick). They played 672 snips of songs that you had to rate from Unfamilliar to Really Dislike to Favorite (with an extra spot for Tired Of which could be used no matter what rating you gave it). It really gave me an insite into why I stopped listening to commercial radio, as well as where my tastes lie. After about 200 songs, I started thinking of each in terms of, "is this better or worse than KC and the Sunshine Band?" Really fucking scary.

It was rather gratifying that I got to rate a whole bunch of Bee Gees songs as Really Dislike. And there was just way too much disco going on over all (Oh, and Mr. Wonder, if your screen reader is reading this off to you, you got top marks)


All our web project's deadlines got moved again. I'm okay with it because now I don't have to rush to get everything done this week (and one got pushed to the end of September!), but I still think we could have managed it. Things were easier to get done when there weren't as many people involved

Monday, August 25, 2003

Mmmmm..... Food....

Another fucking amazing meal last night at Edrie's. It may take forever and a day to get out to her house, but there are definite advantages to being out there. Like farmer's markets and fresh goat cheese. Droooooool.

L_ gave me her all of her "fat jeans" last night too, but after crackers and three kinds of soft goat cheese (regular, smoked and very smoked), blue corn ships and salsa, and olives, green salad, a dish of fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes and carrots, tortellini salad with asparagus and pesto sauce, cold soba noodles with red peppers and green beans, caramelized onion quiche, corn on the cob, and olive bread and sourdough bread, and a three berry pie and vanilla ice cream, I had a little trouble zipping them up. Maybe later in the week I can wear them.

Which reminds me, I'm planning to go on Weight Watchers (again, don't ask) so I can finally go see my doctor without the horrible guilt that not only did I not lose weight like she told me to two years ago, but actually gained weight. I'm being realistic and only want to get down to about 130ish, but I know it's going to take a while

Growing opposition to Bush re-election

For the first time, more Americans say they would oppose President George Bush's re-election in 2004 than support a second term, according to a poll published yesterday that showed mounting pessimism over the US military presence in Iraq.

Sixty-nine per cent of those asked were concerned that the US would be bogged down for many years in Iraq with little to show for it in improved security for Americans; 49% said they were very concerned.
When asked why they supported the war beforehand when many political analysts were saying this is exactly what would happen, Americans looked up from the grass, shook their wooly heads and said, "Baaaaaaaaa."

Thursday, August 21, 2003

But enough about you, let's talk about me

I feel the need to elaborate on why I find the Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About page so heartening. The Doc and I got into another fight last night on the phone. And the thing is, I knew it was going to happen before I even called so I got myself into a more relaxed headspace (nice shower, some food, cooled off a bit) before even saying I'd call. But to no avail. It's not like we were fighting over anything really, it was just a random, nit-picking, semantics argument that escalated.

A bit about me when I fight. Well, first, a bit about me under any strong emotion: I cry. I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I'm overcome with happiness, I cry all the damned time. And I hate it. Now, where the fighting comes in. So I was crying (natch) and then I got vicious. I fight dirty and lacking any sort of physical strength, and being generally prone not non-violence, this comes out in really cruel words. I say things I would never consider if I were in a rational frame of mind. It's like some evil hated monster has taken over my mouth and is just spewing venom. When I calm down and realize what I've said, the guilt sets in and I can't believe I could have sunk so low.

That's the point I was at this morning and I wouldn't have been at all surprised if The Doc never, ever spoke to me again. But he has. Thank you Doc.

This just makes more and more sense every day

This just makes more and more sense every day
I do find it rather heartening that Mil and Margaret have been together for fifteen years, insane arguments and all. I wonder if they ever had one about essential amino acids?

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

What the hell happened over these years?

Okay, so the first picture was taken in 1987 when I was preparing to go to West Germany . I was a sweet young thing then. The second one was taken at a mall kiosk in 1996 when I just wanted a photo ID and the ability to leave the country if I wanted. No, the soft focus was not intentional. And I think I look so spaced out because I was trying to center myself in the monitor without being able to really see anything without my glasses.

Ah, the sweet, young high school girl



The advantage to being somewhat of a packrat is that whenever I'm out of money I can usually scrape something up by going through the pockets of things I haven't worn in years and any sane person would have thrown out by now. I think of it as Self Spare Changing. So I'm going through some old winter coats in the closet ($2.68 found in one coat alone) and see a coat I haven't worn since it was fashionable, sometime in 1990 or 91. I don't know why I still have this thing around, but I do. So I go through the first pocket and find nothing, but the second pocket yields my old passport. I thought I'd lost that thing and gave up looking for it when it expired since I'd need a new one anyway. It expired in 1992, by the way. Yeah, I know.

Anyhow, got a little money and a look at my youth. I took a much better picture back then.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

New Week, Less Money

Here it is, another week, and I'm skint again. Much of the reason is for a good cause though. I paid off the whole electric bill (couple of months) and my HUGE cell phone bill and still managed the couple of bucks needed to register for the Intermediate Acting class in the Fall. Unfortunately, it's leaving me with next to nothing until payday (this Friday, fortunately) and I'm just going to be able to get enough catfood to last until Saturday when I can buy another case from the vet.

Good things so far this week: registered for class, which now has 12 of the 20 available slots full; installed new CDRW in Naz's computer (okay, did that Friday, but have been taking advantage of it this week); have lots of food left over from co-op so I don't need to worry about groceries; of the leftover food, there is half of the vegan cheesecake which turned out really good; I found a nice hat pattern I can begin knitting for The Doc as soon as I can find/buy the right needles; The Doc sent me some new videos last night.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Nothing to see here. Move along, move along

It's really not been a weekend of note here. I did manage to install a new CDRW drive in Naz's computer and we got all out updates and the thing is actually moving at normal speed now instead of a crawl with errors everywhere. Go me.

I woke up late yesterday and had to run out of the house to get to my Cantonese class so of course forgot to bring my pics of the London trip along for Peter. Grrr. He still really wants to see them though, and it has been very nice to get back into that class. He's teaching Canto at The Big H this year and wants me to join the class in the spring so I can have the full class expereince again. I do much better when I have other people to learn with. Now I just need to find out how to register for a class if you're not an enrolled undergraduate. There must be a way, right?

I've been all pissy again with The Doc. I don't know what my deal is. Maybe I'm just getting irritated with having to talk on the phone (which gives me a crick in my neck and makes my ear all sweaty) instead of being able to be with him. I've never done well with the phone for long periods of time. Plus I run out of things to say, which would be the perfect time to just sit an moon and gaze into eachother's eyes, but we really can't do that. It's okay when we get a rousing conversation going (last weekend, for example), but this week I've just gotten bitch. Of course the cramps might have something to do with that as well ;)

We're hosting co-op tonight. The menu I planned was assuming that it would be scortching hot and muggy, you know, like it's been for the past two months, but it's actually quite nice today. Still, the cucumber soup, various fillings for little sandwiches (cucumber, brie, avacado, tomato), carrot rice salad and green salad should be good. I only hope they don't puke it all back up when they taste the vegan cheesecake. I love having my friends to experiment on.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Why I like the Internet (and despise the Mundanes who rule it)

I really do like the internet. Hell, without this immediate, world wide form of connecting, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. First off, neither of us is the sort to open ourselves up to strangers in a face-to-face medium as that can be really terrifying.

For me, I'm the sort that was always invisible and when I wasn't I was taunted (no, I'm still not over people throwing spitballs at me in the middle French class). My real-life friends tend to also have been far out of the "in" crowd as well. I don't have a lot of friends, but the are the sort of people I would want to open up to, not casual aquaintences.

Enter, whose entire mission is to build up your circle of casual aquaintences, and woe betide the user with a sense of humor.
When it began, the Internet offered a world of new opportunities for anonymous communication and self-representation. Here was a unique medium that revealed nothing about you -- not the way you looked, the sound of your voice, or even your handwriting. The possibilities for self-invention were nearly limitless -- and, some would say, highly liberating. Online, you have far more control over how people perceive you, free from stereotypes about race, gender, income, and age. But the people behind Friendster want to make their site as unlike the Internet as possible.

"The idea is how you would really meet someone at a beach party," says Friendster COO Lindstrom. "We want people to feel comfortable, for people's behavior to be what's normally socially acceptable."

Thursday, August 14, 2003

The London Trip - LONG POST

The Doc and I had the following email exchange yesterday:
The Doc: I just noticed, I can't find your England Report on your blog, you say you will tell people what happened but I can't find the actual info

Teru: Hmm, I should put that up, shouldn't I

The Doc: Only if you want to go into details about your booty call ;-)

Teru: Hmmm, I'm still uncertain about how much information I want to share on the web. It might get me more readers though :)

The Doc: Don't mind what you tell people, let them know how badly I was at sex, I don't care... tell them how you got ill and had to be cared for. tell them about the time I ran out of money and had to ask for NTL to put my money back into my account. you have my consent.

Anything you want. But most importantly of all you MUST tell people how much I love you, and how much I smiled and how much we kissed in public.

Oh and don't forget the meet and the reading bit.
Since he said I could tell all, so I might as well say right out that yes, we had sex (duh, it's in the email). We had sex the first day, and yes, it was his first time (and oh yes, I did feel like the Evil Temptress doing that). No, he really wasn't bad. As for the rest of the trip, commentary is as follows. Apologies to anyone who read the commentary I wrote for Postmaster. Yes, most of this is exactly the same.

It was decided that there was to be a meet up of frequent contributors to the Postmaster Discussion Forums. A date was set: July 19, 2003. What this also meant for me was my first vacation without my whole family in four years.

Turn out was small for this first meeting, but hopefully this will just be the first of many more to come.

Day One
I arrived on Friday, July 18th. The Doc was going to meet me at Heathrow (were I was being picked up by the wonderful Simon of Bibliotech, the parent company of Postmaster, my email service), but due to a horrible train incident, fortunately involving schedules, not crashes, he was still in Euston Station when I arrived.

It was about 7:50 by the time I got cleared through immigration at Heathrow and Simon was going to drop me off in Euston and then try to get to an 8:45 dentist appointment. Traffic was hell and it got to the point where he decided it would be best to drop me at a tube station so he could still make the appointment. Well, that didn't work either. By 8:30 we were still not even close to a station, so he called and canceled and drove me the rest of the way to Euston.

The Doc was waiting for us there with a huge backpack and a bag of more camping gear (we had planned to go camping - more on that later). He shook Simon's hand and we nervously hugged and kissed each other on the cheek. Simon bought us double espressos to keep us going until hotel check-in time and then headed to work, leaving The Doc and me to finally get acquainted in Meat Time.

We decided to drop some things off in the hotel’s luggage room first before doing anything else. In front of Euston Station, I stopped him and we really kissed for the first time. It brought smiles to both our faces, and set the tone for public make-out sessions which we would do all through London.

The Doc had forgotten the power cord for his Mac, so the first thing we needed to do after dropping off some stuff was find a place to buy one. We headed to Tottenham Court Road, were there are a lot of electronics stores, and eventually found one for the INSANE price of £80.

By this point I was tired and whiny (a reoccurring theme on this trip) and insisted that we get to an internet café so I could e-mail my family and let them know I arrived safely. Oh, and check the Postmaster forums of course. After e-mail and some food, it was finally late enough to check in to the hotel. Even though we had stopped in earlier to drop off a little bit of our crap, but The Doc was still carrying the backpack that weighed more than a 6 year-old child.

We checked in, showered and planned to get some sleep. There was, of course, the knowledge in the air that eventually we were going to see each other naked and probably have sex. Well, that moment came when I got out of the shower.

He was in bed by then, having showered first, and I took off my robe and climbed in next to him. He turned toward me (don’t worry, you can keep reading, this isn’t going to turn into a full-on description), and we kissed and cuddled. I let him set the pace and when he was ready, we did have sex. And then, we napped.

The Doc had been awake even longer than I and was still out cold when I woke up from my nap, so I went out and explored the neighborhood a bit.

Day Two - The Meet
I woke up at 8:00 and managed to get The Doc up by 8:30 so we could go down to breakfast. After we ate, we headed to Soho to look for an open wireless connection. We stopped in Soho Square Park and found a couple of networks, but they were closed. Fortunately, just a couple of blocks away on Frith Street we found Bar Italia, a not too badly priced cafe where we could access a FAST open wireless network. Had some more food here (breakfast at the hotel was only tea and toast) and called M_.

We met up with M_ in Picadilly Circus and the three of us made our way to The Eye to find J_. J_ found us right away and led us back across the river to a pub he claimed was the cheapest in London. I certainly didn’t find any cheaper during the trip, and it was cozy to boot. AND had Samuel Smith bitter on draft for under £2. We had two rounds there and then made our way out to St. James Park.

It was a beautiful day and plenty of people were enjoying the park. We planted ourselves in the shade of a gnarled tree. The Doc set up the laptop for music while M_ twisted up. The music was good and the conversation mellow. Eventually we left and J_ led us to Covent Garden where he took his leave and went off to fulfill the rest of his social calendar for the day.

The Doc, M_ and I wandered around a bit and got an OUTRAGEOUSLY priced drink in some chi chi yup-scale hole. Leaving after one, we went to this big-ass arcade building with video games, bowling, sports bar, etc. We got a more reasonably priced drink in the sports bar where I got to marvel at the beauty of rugby shorts (why are American sports uniforms so modest?). We then wandered around a bit more while I became an irritating bitch because I hate crowds and noise and was in need of some alone time. Oh, and not only was I snippy, but I started crying too (did I mention the PMS during the trip?). So we left the noise and went to Pizza Hut for some food (not nearly as disgusting as the Americans are thinking, in fact it was pretty good), then found an Underground station and headed our separate ways.

When The Doc and I got back to the hotel, I was still pissing and moaning and generally grumpy. He took a bath and I sulked. Then I bathed and we both passed out on top of the covers until Simon called to check in to see if everything went well at the meet.
No sex occured.

Day Three
Sunday was to be the first of my Tourist Days. I made a list of free or dirt cheap things to see (along with page numbers in the guide book so we could find them) and after breakfast we started out.

Stop the First was the National Gallery. Okay, so Stop the First was supposed to be the Theatre Museum, but I got us lost and we ended up at the National Gallery. I was very disappointed to find that you could not take picture in the NG as they had some very nice internal space and ceiling paintings. This sort of stuff really interests me, so much so that on my only trip to the Louvre I actually decided to lie down in the middle of a gallery to get a shot of the ceiling.

After going through enough of the NG to enjoy it but not be sick of it, we went to lunch at the Operah Room at The Chandros. There we decided that the Tate Britain would be next. I would have liked to go to the Tate Modern (and will next time), but The Doc has a thing against anything after the 19th century. Fortunately for me, there was one gallery in the front showing modern, which is where we parted ways for a bit (Doc, how could you NOT go in and see a Mondrian up close?)

We didn't meet up again until after I'd seen ALL of the Turners (my favorites being the Finished or Unfinished? Gallery) There was a Sargent I really liked too, which I found odd as I've always been rather indifferent about Sargent. We saw the Aubrey Beardsley gallery too, which was a lot of fun.

Eventually we left building and sat outside the doors on a bench, where we were approached by a woman who asked The Doc if he would be an extra in a movie. No really. He waffled but gave her the info of where we were staying in case she wanted to call to see if he changed his mind. (as a side note here, no one was asking me to be in a movie, and I'm the one who wants to act!) Then we went across the street and made out on a bench overlooking the Thames (did I mention public make out sessions were a big part of this trip?). Someone driving by yelled at us to cut it out, which we eventually did and went back to the hotel.
Yes, there was sex. And slightly kinky too.

Dinner was a take-away curry brought back to the room and ate while watching a Black Adder DVD.

Day Four
This was supposed to be the second of my Tourist Days, but ended up being the first of my Sick Days. I had started to feel a little tired, with a tickle in my throat on Sunday, but Monday it went to full-blown illness with fever, swollen glands and the lot. As such, we decided to stay close to "home" and go to the British Library.

On the way there, we stopped at a café on a side street for some breakfast. This was THE cheapest meal we got in London (the tea and toast included with our hotel room doesn't count). The Doc got his sausage, bacon, beans and toast and I got eggs on toast. That and tea for two set us back a mere £5. Yes, for the both of us.

We then went to the library where you need a reader's pass to get entry to the stacks, but they have a couple of galleries open to the general public, which had the stuff I was most interested in seeing anyway.

I got to see 'Jane Eyre,' the original handwritten manuscript, three iterations of the Magna Carta, plus the papal bull denouncing it, a 4th century Greek bible, 'Finnegan's Wake' (it all makes sense when you see those insane pencil scrawls randomly across the page) and so many more things. I was in nerd heaven.

Unfortunately, I was also sick as hell and walking around the one small gallery wore me out. We went back to the hotel where I went in and out of sleep, The Doc put ice on my head to cool me down (or maybe he did that the next day, it's kind of a blur), and then he went out and brought me back some throat spray. Later in the evening, after spending about six hours in bed, we went out and picked up another curry. We started to watch a movie, but I conked out not even halfway through.

During the night I kept waking up. I was freezing, even under the blanket, but my skin was burning hot. I knew I would not be able to go camping as we had planned for the next day.
No sex this day either.

Day Five
We were supposed to check out of the hotel this day, but I woke up at 8:00, called down to reception and asked if we could stay another day. I felt like hell and there was no way I was going to move out then. When they called back and said we could stay, I went back to sleep for another two hours.

When we finally got up, we'd missed breakfast at the hotel, which was fine by me since there was no way I was going to be able to swallow toast. As it was, my throat was so swollen that half the liquid I tried to swallow ended up going up my nose.

We needed to do laundry. Or, more to the point, The Doc needed to do laundry, as I had brought enough underwear for two weeks and am the sort who will wear my pants until they stand up and walk out on their own. There was a small launderette nearby on Grey's Inn Road (our hotel was off of this and King's Cross Road) where we took our stuff (I did throw some socks and panties into the mix). We were both hungry, but all I wanted was ice cream which we got along with some kick-ass ginger beer at a little store next to the launderette.

I went across the street to an internet café for 30 minutes while The Doc watched the clothes. When the laundry was done, we both went back and logged on for an hour before going back to the hotel. Later that night, we went back to that block and got a pizza, some more ginger beer and some saffron ice cream, which really didn't taste much like saffron, perhaps because of all the sugar, and was actually quite good.
The whole day, we never went beyond Grey's Inn Road.
Still no sex.

Day Six
We finally checked out of the hotel. We got up for our last free meal of tea and toast (of which I could only eat one piece and only in tiny bites), packed up and got out. We hoofed it to King's Cross Station where we stopped in at Boot's so I could talk to the chemist about some meds. She gave me some awesome throat lozenges with an anti-inflammatory that ended up working wonders.

Stop one was Bar Italia so we could go online, check finances and look for a new place to stay. The Doc found that one of his utilities had double-dipped from his account, so we needed to hit a bank branch later to sort that out. We decided to look outside of London for lodging as the only cheap stuff we could find was around King's Cross and we'd been there, done that already. Gave The Doc the map and he chose Reading.

So after sorting things out at the bank, we hopped a train to Reading. It was a local train, making a zillion stops and took us an hour and a half to get there. But get there we did and took a cab to the hotel where we got a cozy room better decorated than the last, but with fewer facilities.

After a rest and a wash, AND SEX! I changed in to a dress, which The Doc loved and we walked into town to get some food. We stopped in at a pub ("What, you're here to visit our quaint English pubs?" "Yes") and had a really nice little meal and drinks for very little money. So while our room was not as inexpensive as King's Cross, the food was cheaper, so getting out of London worked out well.

Day Seven
We went back into London for the day (on a much faster train that didn't stop everywhere). We were to have lunch with Simon, so we made our way to Fulham where he picked us up and brought us to The Mother Ship.

Lunch was at The Ship (not The Mother Ship, just a pub named The Ship), a pub on the water with an open deck and lots of grilled food. I had a fabulous roasted veg with cous cous that was the only vegetarian item on the menu, but was really good. Nabil and Omar, co-founders of Bibliotech, joined us for drinks and wonderful conversation was had. After lunch, we went back to The Mother Ship, got a chance to poke around (oooo... servers...) and have a cuppa before Simon brought us back to the tube station.

Since it was my last day and I had not done nearly enough tourist stuff, I dragged The Doc around for a bit, stopping at Southwark Cathedral and eventually making our way to The Globe Theatre where I got all vaklempt. I grew up around theatres and just being there felt very special to me. We considered going to the show, but there were only 24 tickets left and they were probably the really crappy seats (no, I didn't check, I should have).

We had planned to meet up with Simon again for dinner, but when the time came, he had sitter issues and needed to go home and be withy the kids. So The Doc and I now had more time to ourselves. Which meant there was more time for me to cry and whine and be bitchy. Which I did. A lot . (SOB! Let's go back to the hotel! three minutes later, smiling Let's stay in London some more!)

We did get to do another attraction and wandered in to The British Museum, managing to catch a tour group at the Elgin Marbles. Really that was all we went in to see as we were tired. So we skipped out after that, wandered through Regent's Park and then made our way back to Leicester Square. We got a drink and then headed back to Reading.

I was tired and hungry and cranky by the time we got off the train, but we got some food in a kabab shop and took a taxi back to the hotel (okay, we tried to walk first but got lost).
Sex was had for the last time.

Day Eight
This was the day I headed back to the States. He woke up way too early and wanted sex, but I was just not in the mood (like most women when they’re still half asleep). We got up later and packed, checked out of the hotel and took a cab to the station where we got a bus to Heatherow.

Once at Heathrow, I got in the line to check in while he waited. This was the last time we would see each other for a while and it was difficult and awkward. He left before I even got through the line.

Going through security it hit me that I wouldn’t see him again for some time. I was angry at myself for not making love one last time and angry for being a god-awful bitch through most of the trip and probably for a host of other things too. And I knew it was going to hurt bad.

I called Simon one last time from Heathrow and logged on to a BT Blue Box to post on the forums and let folks know I was heading back.

On the plane the sadness started to settle in and several times I had to turn toward the window to keep my tears from showing.

When I got home, he had left a message on my answering machine letting me know he was home safe and asking after me. He called, we talked, we cried.

And I still miss him terribly.


I sent The Doc a card last week and he got it yesterday. Today, as he retired to get some post-work rest he emailed me
I still got your card and I'm thinking of you as I'm going to bed, I really love you you know that, This card is so lovly I'm going to put it under my pillows.

Thank you
Dreamy sigh

Maybe a Little Important

So much for "little or no importance." My Google PageRank is now 1/10. Not much, but now I at least have a rank.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Fucking computer!

My roommate’s computer is acting up again. It’s not mine (although I use it a ton) so I don’t tend to do much maintenance work on it. If it was mine I’d do more since if I fucked it up I wouldn’t be screwing with someone else’s property, but this is just getting ridiculous. I can’t open new browser windows (sill getting pop-up though) or paste anything in a browser. This bit is the worst because I tend to do my blogging offline (so I can spell-check - I do care about you, dear readers) and then paste it into the blogger interface. No can do now. And responding to my Topica list is out because they’ve never been able to receive anything I’ve just emailed so I go through their web page which, of course opens a new window for you to write a response and that’s not working now.

I also can’t copy text from the web, which is getting to be a pain. I typed out the Salam Pax quote below which would have been much easier if I could have just copied it. Both that entry and this one were composed and saved and uploaded later, after I ran the most current Windows 2000 service pack (something I really should have been monitoring, but again, not my machine and I wasn’t asked for help).

However, now the damned thing is asking for things on some program disk and the CD drive hasn't worked for ages. I'm at the end of my tether here.

Yes, I know, I’m whining about the lack of something I didn’t even have ten years ago. I can’t help it, I’ve become a slave to the modern world.

So I really shouldn't complain about the humidity

Salam Pax has a bi-weekly column in The Guardian. As hot has it’s been here (which is still not even close to as bad as last year), I can’t even imagine the heat in the Middle East right now. And it’s doing no one’s mood any good in a country already being mismanaged by an occupying force.
As usual, getting into these press bashes is an event in itself. You have to be there an hour early, you get searched a thousand times and, of course, as an Iraqi I get treated like shit. I have no idea why the American soldiers at the entrance to the convention center [where the CPA press operation is] are so offensive towards Iraqis while they can be so nice to anyone with a foreign passport. I have to be the Zen master when the soldier at the gate gets condescending.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Wrong Number

My roommate goes by the name Naz because her given name is exceptionally common. On a few occasions we have gotten phone calls from people looking for someone else and choosing her out of the phone book because she lists her full name and not just initials. I came home today to find another one of those calls on the answering machine, and this one was kind of sad. The man said who he was looking for and then said "If you're mother's name is Rhonda, call me collect at XXX-XXX-XXXX. I'm looking for my daughters."

I wonder how long they've been estranged and why. Maybe he'll have better luck with the next listing.

Well what the hell else am I supposed to call him? This Guy in England?

Got totally busted for my choice of words last night. While talking to someone I hadn't seen in a long time, I referred to The Doc as my "boyfriend." Hey, it just seemed easier than trying to explain that we met online and have only been together in person for a week and sustain our relationship through the web and the telephone. So yeah, I've said it, and I'm not taking it back.

It is funny though how we've danced around the words to describe our relationship. It really isn't "traditional" in any modern, Western sense given that we had something going pretty seriously before ever meeting and are remaining emotionally close through an ocean of distance. Maybe that just means that "traditional" needs to play catch-up with a global society and get in tune with technology. I think it's a fitting way for two geeks carry on a relationship.

Monday, August 11, 2003

Matrix Ping Pong

This is just odd. I don't know what show this came from, but anything that features a strange hybrid of ping pong, butoh, human puppetry and comedy is alright by me.

And how was your weekend?

Well I made it out to the 88, getting sunburned in the process. I forgot to look for a phone card while I was there, but did manage to find all the food stuff I was looking for. I had gone out to that one because I know they have a big variety of vegetarian "fish" products, and since Naz is out of town this week and I'm cooking for one, I thought I would indulge in sea-tasting things, which she doesn't like. Oh! And I got yummy fried tofu!

When I got home, I was finally able to get in touch with The Doc online. I'd been trying to reach him so I could know if he was home for me to call. No phone card, but I called anyway (just need to remember to let Naz know so she’s prepared for the UK call on the bill) and we talked for a bit before switching bills where he called me.

It was a good call. He told me a lot about his childhood and then we swapped some more pictures: one of me holding a chicken when I was 11, and a couple risqué ones from when I was 17 for a portrait of him with his sisters, a pic of his youngest sister and two of the rainy day in his neighborhood.

After a bit I decided to make dinner, but had forgotten crucial ingredients for the paella I wanted to make, most importantly the saffron. So we hung up and I went out again, this time to the regular supermarket in Southie. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I don't know what I was thinking. Well, yes I do. I was thinking that since they have such a great selection of vegetarian food, cheeses, fresh pasta and UK items (gotta stock the Soul Food for the Irish Immigrants) that they would of course carry saffron. If they do, they keep it well hidden. Feh! So I went home empty-handed and substituted beer and water for the wine and broth and paprika and salt for saffron. Yes, I know, not appropriate substitutions at all, but it turned out okay, if not actually being paella.

The Doc called again and we talked for two more hours. I told him a bit about my life and a bit about old relationships (mostly the Big break-up bit). We also talked about reactions to our relationship. He's told his mother about us and it's been the best parental reaction so far. She actually thinks it’s a good idea for him to be with an older woman rather than someone his own age. Neat.

For me, anyone who has actually seen me recently know this is a good thing. I went to my Cantonese class for the first time since June and Peter noticed the difference the moment he saw me. He thought I looked great. We went out for dim saam and chatted some more about it after the others left. He's of the opinion that if it makes you both happy, that's all that matters. And given that he just married his longtime girlfriend who is 20 years his junior, against the wishes of her parents, he does know a bit of what he's talking about.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Who knew I could get so lost, or: The Trouble with being a Non-driver

I tried to walk to the Giganto Super 88 in South Bay today. I thought I knew how to get there since the roomie and I have been out that way so many times. However, when we go, we are in her car and I guess I really never paid attention to how we get there and just confused it in my mind with all those other places we go on domestic errandy-type things. Couldn't find the damed place and had to go home and look it up. I was way off the mark!

My options are now, a) try again; b) go instead to the one in Chinatown or the one in Allston; or c) not go at all. I think I'm going to try to mop up more sweat and try again. And put on some damned sunscreen this time. At least if I get there they'll probably have some decent calling cards (tried to get one in my neighborhood so I could call the UK without breaking the bank but the rates on the cards here were higher than our regular rates. Why?)

Thursday, August 07, 2003


I had the opportunity to go to a free screening of Passionada on Tuesday. Normally I wouldn’t bother with a chick flick, but it has Jason Isaacs, and was free. We were asked to let people know about the film, which opens in limited release on August 15th, and so I thought I’d do my part by blogging it.

What can I say, it was a chick flick. It wasn’t as chick flicky as I expected though, which was nice. Sofia Milos plays a Portuguese fisherman’s widow in New Bedford, MA. She is a seamstress by day and sings in a restaurant at night. One night her daughter, played by Emmy Rossum, goes to a casino (enter willing suspension of disbelief #1 – this girl does NOT look 18) and meets Jason Isaacs, a card counter. He helps her win a little at blackjack, which prompts her to ask for card counting lessons. He says no, but then sees her mother sing and he ends up reluctantly striking a deal with her to give card counting lessons in exchange for help in wooing her mother who, although widowed is "the most married woman you’ll ever meet."

It’s a cute movie. Not great, but I don’t expect great from this sort of thing. New Bedford looked lovely though.

I was really unimpressed with Milos. It often seemed like she was unaware that she was supposed to be reacting to other characters. Rossum, on the other hand, was really good. I’m looking forward to seeing what she will do with her career. And I think I will find her easier to watch when she grows up a bit. The word that comes to mind now is 'nubile,' and I just found it a little unsettling.

Would I recommend this film? Well, if you like chick flicks, yes. If you like Jason Isaacs and want to spend two hours with his insanely piercing blue eyes, yes, yes, yes (but that might be more for a rental)

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Bad Hair Day

I have Shirley Jones hair today. Specifically Shirley Jones in The Partridge Family hair. Oh the shame! I feel like I should be putting on a wide-collared paisley shirt and packing the kids onto the psychedelic bus. And then there’s that whole inverted Oedipal thing where I start thinking about my old Shaun Cassidy posters and how I used to kiss them and play his albums and the worst punishment EVER was not being allowed to watch The Hardy Boys. I’m going to have to wet it down and start over before I go out to the movie tonight.

And as a bit of a side note, while I was looking for Shaun Cassidy pages, I came across this Hardy Boys page. The images are terrifying now, and somehow we found this attractive in the '70s! And the SC concert photos are just wrong.

Monday, August 04, 2003


5 : CAPTIVATE, TAKE <smitten with her beauty>
intransitive senses : to deliver or deal a blow with or as if with the hand or something held
-Merriam-Webser Dictionary

At co-op dinner on Sunday, I blushed furiously talking about The Doc. The comment I got was "I don’t think I’ve seen chameleons change color that quickly." I didn't go into my usual gush though, which I think showed quite a lot of restraint. But they got the idea. And if not, I’m sure my inability to keep from mentioning him in almost every conversation will let people know how head over heels I am (and why isn’t that expression "heels over head?" That would make more sense as some sort of deviation from the norm). Even when I'm not talking about him, I'm thinking about him.

We talked on the phone twice this weekend. On the first call, Saturday afternoon/night (depending on your time-zone), I gave him step-by-step cooking instructions for pasta with a roasted pepper and garlic sauce. He sent me a picture of it and it looked quite tasty. He assures me that it was, although it’s hard for me to judge without dipping my finger in the sauce, which is difficult from 3000 miles away. It was a nice call though, all comfy and such.

The second call was at midnight after Naz and I got back from the movies. It was a good-night call that moved into our pre-meet pattern of long-distance intimacy. It's not even half of being with him in the flesh, but it's the most we can do for now.

I am so smitten with him, which, as you can see from the definition above, has connotations of violence. And I do feel like I have been physically struck by these feelings, and am in a constant concussive daze of bliss. I wake up in the morning and my first thought (after, "Ow! Kitty, that's my HEAD!") is of him. It's the total, blinding infatuation moment that marks the beginning of relationships. Sometimes they fizzle out after the excitement is gone, sometimes they settle into a comfortable groove and go on for years. I don't know where this one is going, and at this point I don't much care. I'm just along for the ride.

The Doc and Teru in London

Weekend with The Roomie

I have to be the only person who can fall asleep during a rock concert. Naz and I went to see The Eels on Friday night and I actually dozed off during the show. And not during slow songs, mind you, I conked out during the loud stuff. I’m kind of bummed because I really like The Eels and was psyched to get a chance to see them. I guess I shouldn’t have had that beer before the show.

On Saturday we went to two early martial arts movies at the MFA. It’s nice that the HK flicks are coming back to Boston. Way back in my first summer here, we went to a series at the Brattle, where I got my first taste of the HK movie scene. It was so much fun, hell, that whole summer was fun, and I was hooked. After that I used to go to series at the Coolidge (and Brattle again) and a few at the MFA.

Since then, my movie going has gone way down, the Coolidge no longer does that sort of thing, the Brattle hasn’t had a full-on HK series in ages and the MFA is only just getting back into having HK Augusts. I think this series is a good way to bring them back, and where else could one go to see silent martial arts movies? And we got to see that the cheesy topes of the '70s have been a long-standing tradition in the genre (creepy minion with the bad teeth, anyone?).

I probably won’t get to all of the shows (missed yesterday’s in fact), but really want to catch the King Hu films. We saw 'A Touch of Zen' from the front row at the MFA a few years ago and it was one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. Hu was a brilliant filmmaker (cue 'Who’s on First' moment with that sentence!) who’s films convey such a depth of atmosphere and emotion with minimal effects and scenery. Just gorgeous.

ManRay May Close!!!

So here's to getting my news from the student paper. Man, now I'm feeling bad that I haven't been there in a year. That place could be a lot of fun (if you can get past the "go to be seen in the scene" atmosphere of the local pervs who can't seem to figure out that this place is supposed to be a dance club, not a private dungeon), and was one of the few places where I could get decked out in my whole kit and still be considered dressed down.
And the real kicker is that it's being done to put up apartments, which you just know are going to be hideously expensive and another nail in the culture coffin of Central Square. Fucking gentrification!
Article is here, by the way.

Friday, August 01, 2003

Silly Happy
Or: It's Got That New Relationship Smell

I have been gushing to all who will listen about The Doc. Ever since my mom asked "Are you and he romanically involved?" and I answered that yes, we were, all I can think of are those words "romanically involved." It's the closest to a label we've put on things and it came from my mom!

I sent him the email exchange between me and my mom with a lot of nervousness. I wasn't sure how he would take it as we really had left what we were up in the air (although he did ask me flat out if we were "going out" or if it was just a trans-Atlantic bootie call), but he said his heart did a dance when he read those two words. sigh From that moment on we've been even more cutsie and gushy, if that's even possible.

The distance is still an issue though. It's raining in Boston today, even harder than the rain that was coming down a week ago today when I left England. It's been one week since we last saw each other, since we last kissed, since we last held each other. The rain is a reminder of the hugs I'm missing.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Does she even listen to herself?

There was an interview by David Bowman in Salon of Ann Coulter last week (I'm a little behind in my reading and still catching up on the liberal US sources I wasn't reading while on vacation), and I just can't believe this woman can spout some of the crap she does. Does she not listen to what she is saying?
["Something About Raymond"] runaway popularity is because it is one of the rare shows on TV right now that is not about gay men. - [Teru's note for those who haven't looked at a US television schedule EVER, there is only one 30 minute television show which feature gay characters]
And sodomy is gleefully laughed upon now. I keep telling my friends in Hollywood that I have a novel idea for a new TV show -- "How about a show about a heterosexual couple."
One of them is the fact that we can only have two tablespoons of water in our toilet bowls because of some idiotic conservation of water. It's wacky enough for liberals to think about global warming, but that we would run out of natural resources? It rains. The water doesn't go away. Because of liberal government bureaucrats, they decided that we can only have two tablespoons of water in the toilet. You throw half a tissue in the toilet and you have to flush it 16 times.
Bowman: Haven't you heard of this natural phenomenon called drought? This is the first summer in ages that New York hasn't been on drought alert. It would rain in the city, but not over the damn reservoirs. Was the sky filled with Republican clouds or Democratic ones?
I'm confident that the reservoirs are full after this spring.
The idea that the Supreme Court will save us from cops knocking down doors and busting through the walls is absurd, is just preposterous. It was an odd fluke.
Bowman: OK, so it's up to the community to decide whether or not to burn queers in the public square...
Right. That preserved the maximum freedom.
Bowman: What's your take on [Tony Blair]?
I think he is a model for liberals in this country. Why don't we have any liberals like that? This is what the Democratic Party should be. Why can't they be for all their other little issues -- gay marriage, abortion, confiscatory taxes -- but agree to defend America? Blair is the one patriotic liberal in the world.
Right, well, I've only quoted a few choice parts, but go read the full interview. The woman is just SCARY!