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Showing posts from August, 2003

Yeah, I worry

The Doc gave me a hell of a scare yesterday. I had gotten no email from him and when I called his house, his sister said she hadn't seen him all day. Normally I wouldn't have been bothered, but after the drama of Thursday night/Friday morning (and actually continuing into Friday night too), I was afraid something had happened to him.

We had talked before about what each would do if the other other lost contact. I thought I would just call and everything would be okay, but now I know that that is not always the case. Being 3000 miles away definately has it's disadvantages. What I did do after not reaching him on the phone was email the one friend of his whose name I knew (after finding his email adress online but not his phone number). My next step was going to be to blog a plea to anyone who might know him who reads this blog. After that I was going to hit H2G2 and then start calling hospitals in the morning. Fortunately, he called me as I was blogging.

He's fi…

RobotZen's Secret CD Release

I went out to a concert last night at Jacques Underground. Jacques is a drag bar, but they have bands play in the basement. I was going to see RobotZen, since I missed their last two shows (the first due to work and the second was when I was in England). They were the second of three bands and I don't think you could have gotten three more disparate groups together.

First up was Malice in Leatherland, a group of three young folk who fancied themselves a goth band (although someone should really let the guitar player in on that as he seemed under the assumption that they were metal), all make-up and skirt-wearing male lead singer. They were loud. There were, well, not very good. The drummer has potential if she could spend a little time on playing and a bit less on attitude.

The thought struck me today that her stylized arm movements were a lot like taiko. Maybe this is the first time she's used a drum kit.

For their last song, they brought up a woman to sing who fortu…

Gone from sad to angry

After stewing all day about The Doc's current situation, I've gotten really angry. He is, for all intents and purposes, parenting his 13 year old sister. Firstly, this is not fair to him as there is no reason why their mother should not be doing the basics of up keep (food, bills, showing up once in a while). Secondly, there has been no history of discipline. Now, I don't mean smacking the kids when they "get out of line," I mean instilling a sense of what is acceptable behavior if you want to get along in the household or in society at large (you know, the things that parents are supposed to teach but insist on foisting off on the schools, television, video games, etc. here in the US).

My parents did not believe in physical punishment. As a consiquence, when I did something they felt warrented punishment (letting a sheep escape when I was seven, for example), they took away "privlages." Yes, parents, television is a privlage. I had enforced bed …

It breaks my heart

My love just wrote a gut-wrenching tale in his journal. It just kills me to see the living situation he is trapped in, but aside from giving him moral support, and helping him to look for a new job, I don't know what I can do.

Darling, I love you.

Living in a Material World

So I whored myself out to market research today. C_ does focus groups a lot, which involves giving your opinion on things in exchange for cash. She got called to do a music one today and they asked her if she knew anyone else who was interested so she handed the phone to me. They were doing programming research for a soft rock/r&b station (not that they said that, but the questions were very leading) and paying $50 for two hours. Okay, so what better things did I have to do (well, spend $10 on a kung fu flick). They played 672 snips of songs that you had to rate from Unfamilliar to Really Dislike to Favorite (with an extra spot for Tired Of which could be used no matter what rating you gave it). It really gave me an insite into why I stopped listening to commercial radio, as well as where my tastes lie. After about 200 songs, I started thinking of each in terms of, "is this better or worse than KC and the Sunshine Band?" Really fucking scary.

It was rather gratif…


All our web project's deadlines got moved again. I'm okay with it because now I don't have to rush to get everything done this week (and one got pushed to the end of September!), but I still think we could have managed it. Things were easier to get done when there weren't as many people involved

Mmmmm..... Food....

Another fucking amazing meal last night at Edrie's. It may take forever and a day to get out to her house, but there are definite advantages to being out there. Like farmer's markets and fresh goat cheese. Droooooool.

L_ gave me her all of her "fat jeans" last night too, but after crackers and three kinds of soft goat cheese (regular, smoked and very smoked), blue corn ships and salsa, and olives, green salad, a dish of fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes and carrots, tortellini salad with asparagus and pesto sauce, cold soba noodles with red peppers and green beans, caramelized onion quiche, corn on the cob, and olive bread and sourdough bread, and a three berry pie and vanilla ice cream, I had a little trouble zipping them up. Maybe later in the week I can wear them.

Which reminds me, I'm planning to go on Weight Watchers (again, don't ask) so I can finally go see my doctor without the horrible guilt that not only did I not lose weight like she told me …

Growing opposition to Bush re-election

But enough about you, let's talk about me

I feel the need to elaborate on why I find the Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About page so heartening. The Doc and I got into another fight last night on the phone. And the thing is, I knew it was going to happen before I even called so I got myself into a more relaxed headspace (nice shower, some food, cooled off a bit) before even saying I'd call. But to no avail. It's not like we were fighting over anything really, it was just a random, nit-picking, semantics argument that escalated.

A bit about me when I fight. Well, first, a bit about me under any strong emotion: I cry. I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I'm overcome with happiness, I cry all the damned time. And I hate it. Now, where the fighting comes in. So I was crying (natch) and then I got vicious. I fight dirty and lacking any sort of physical strength, and being generally prone not non-violence, this comes out in really cruel words. I say things I would never consi…

What the hell happened over these years?

Okay, so the first picture was taken in 1987 when I was preparing to go to West Germany . I was a sweet young thing then. The second one was taken at a mall kiosk in 1996 when I just wanted a photo ID and the ability to leave the country if I wanted. No, the soft focus was not intentional. And I think I look so spaced out because I was trying to center myself in the monitor without being able to really see anything without my glasses.

Ah, the sweet, young high school girl



The advantage to being somewhat of a packrat is that whenever I'm out of money I can usually scrape something up by going through the pockets of things I haven't worn in years and any sane person would have thrown out by now. I think of it as Self Spare Changing. So I'm going through some old winter coats in the closet ($2.68 found in one coat alone) and see a coat I haven't worn since it was fashionable, sometime in 1990 or 91. I don't know why I still have this thing around, but I do. So I go through the first pocket and find nothing, but the second pocket yields my old passport. I thought I'd lost that thing and gave up looking for it when it expired since I'd need a new one anyway. It expired in 1992, by the way. Yeah, I know.

Anyhow, got a little money and a look at my youth. I took a much better picture back then.

New Week, Less Money

Here it is, another week, and I'm skint again. Much of the reason is for a good cause though. I paid off the whole electric bill (couple of months) and my HUGE cell phone bill and still managed the couple of bucks needed to register for the Intermediate Acting class in the Fall. Unfortunately, it's leaving me with next to nothing until payday (this Friday, fortunately) and I'm just going to be able to get enough catfood to last until Saturday when I can buy another case from the vet.

Good things so far this week: registered for class, which now has 12 of the 20 available slots full; installed new CDRW in Naz's computer (okay, did that Friday, but have been taking advantage of it this week); have lots of food left over from co-op so I don't need to worry about groceries; of the leftover food, there is half of the vegan cheesecake which turned out really good; I found a nice hat pattern I can begin knitting for The Doc as soon as I can find/buy the right needles; …

Nothing to see here. Move along, move along

It's really not been a weekend of note here. I did manage to install a new CDRW drive in Naz's computer and we got all out updates and the thing is actually moving at normal speed now instead of a crawl with errors everywhere. Go me.

I woke up late yesterday and had to run out of the house to get to my Cantonese class so of course forgot to bring my pics of the London trip along for Peter. Grrr. He still really wants to see them though, and it has been very nice to get back into that class. He's teaching Canto at The Big H this year and wants me to join the class in the spring so I can have the full class expereince again. I do much better when I have other people to learn with. Now I just need to find out how to register for a class if you're not an enrolled undergraduate. There must be a way, right?

I've been all pissy again with The Doc. I don't know what my deal is. Maybe I'm just getting irritated with having to talk on the phone (which gives…

Why I like the Internet (and despise the Mundanes who rule it)

I really do like the internet. Hell, without this immediate, world wide form of connecting, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. First off, neither of us is the sort to open ourselves up to strangers in a face-to-face medium as that can be really terrifying.

For me, I'm the sort that was always invisible and when I wasn't I was taunted (no, I'm still not over people throwing spitballs at me in the middle French class). My real-life friends tend to also have been far out of the "in" crowd as well. I don't have a lot of friends, but the are the sort of people I would want to open up to, not casual aquaintences.

Enter, whose entire mission is to build up your circle of casual aquaintences, and woe betide the user with a sense of humor.When it began, the Internet offered a world of new opportunities for anonymous communication and self-representation. Here was a unique medium that revealed nothing about you -- not the way you looked, the sou…

The London Trip - LONG POST

The Doc and I had the following email exchange yesterday:The Doc: I just noticed, I can't find your England Report on your blog, you say you will tell people what happened but I can't find the actual info

Teru: Hmm, I should put that up, shouldn't I

The Doc: Only if you want to go into details about your booty call ;-)

Teru: Hmmm, I'm still uncertain about how much information I want to share on the web. It might get me more readers though :)

The Doc: Don't mind what you tell people, let them know how badly I was at sex, I don't care... tell them how you got ill and had to be cared for. tell them about the time I ran out of money and had to ask for NTL to put my money back into my account. you have my consent.

Anything you want. But most importantly of all you MUST tell people how much I love you, and how much I smiled and how much we kissed in public.

Oh and don't forget the meet and the reading bit.Since he said I could tell all, so I might as well say r…


I sent The Doc a card last week and he got it yesterday. Today, as he retired to get some post-work rest he emailed meI still got your card and I'm thinking of you as I'm going to bed, I really love you you know that, This card is so lovly I'm going to put it under my pillows.

Thank youDreamy sigh

Fucking computer!

My roommate’s computer is acting up again. It’s not mine (although I use it a ton) so I don’t tend to do much maintenance work on it. If it was mine I’d do more since if I fucked it up I wouldn’t be screwing with someone else’s property, but this is just getting ridiculous. I can’t open new browser windows (sill getting pop-up though) or paste anything in a browser. This bit is the worst because I tend to do my blogging offline (so I can spell-check - I do care about you, dear readers) and then paste it into the blogger interface. No can do now. And responding to my Topica list is out because they’ve never been able to receive anything I’ve just emailed so I go through their web page which, of course opens a new window for you to write a response and that’s not working now.

I also can’t copy text from the web, which is getting to be a pain. I typed out the Salam Pax quote below which would have been much easier if I could have just copied it. Both that entry and this one wer…

So I really shouldn't complain about the humidity

Wrong Number

My roommate goes by the name Naz because her given name is exceptionally common. On a few occasions we have gotten phone calls from people looking for someone else and choosing her out of the phone book because she lists her full name and not just initials. I came home today to find another one of those calls on the answering machine, and this one was kind of sad. The man said who he was looking for and then said "If you're mother's name is Rhonda, call me collect at XXX-XXX-XXXX. I'm looking for my daughters."

I wonder how long they've been estranged and why. Maybe he'll have better luck with the next listing.

Well what the hell else am I supposed to call him? This Guy in England?

Got totally busted for my choice of words last night. While talking to someone I hadn't seen in a long time, I referred to The Doc as my "boyfriend." Hey, it just seemed easier than trying to explain that we met online and have only been together in person for a week and sustain our relationship through the web and the telephone. So yeah, I've said it, and I'm not taking it back.

It is funny though how we've danced around the words to describe our relationship. It really isn't "traditional" in any modern, Western sense given that we had something going pretty seriously before ever meeting and are remaining emotionally close through an ocean of distance. Maybe that just means that "traditional" needs to play catch-up with a global society and get in tune with technology. I think it's a fitting way for two geeks carry on a relationship.

And how was your weekend?

Well I made it out to the 88, getting sunburned in the process. I forgot to look for a phone card while I was there, but did manage to find all the food stuff I was looking for. I had gone out to that one because I know they have a big variety of vegetarian "fish" products, and since Naz is out of town this week and I'm cooking for one, I thought I would indulge in sea-tasting things, which she doesn't like. Oh! And I got yummy fried tofu!

When I got home, I was finally able to get in touch with The Doc online. I'd been trying to reach him so I could know if he was home for me to call. No phone card, but I called anyway (just need to remember to let Naz know so she’s prepared for the UK call on the bill) and we talked for a bit before switching bills where he called me.

It was a good call. He told me a lot about his childhood and then we swapped some more pictures: one of me holding a chicken when I was 11, and a couple risqué ones from when I was 17 for …

Who knew I could get so lost, or: The Trouble with being a Non-driver

I tried to walk to the Giganto Super 88 in South Bay today. I thought I knew how to get there since the roomie and I have been out that way so many times. However, when we go, we are in her car and I guess I really never paid attention to how we get there and just confused it in my mind with all those other places we go on domestic errandy-type things. Couldn't find the damed place and had to go home and look it up. I was way off the mark!

My options are now, a) try again; b) go instead to the one in Chinatown or the one in Allston; or c) not go at all. I think I'm going to try to mop up more sweat and try again. And put on some damned sunscreen this time. At least if I get there they'll probably have some decent calling cards (tried to get one in my neighborhood so I could call the UK without breaking the bank but the rates on the cards here were higher than our regular rates. Why?)


I had the opportunity to go to a free screening of Passionada on Tuesday. Normally I wouldn’t bother with a chick flick, but it has Jason Isaacs, and was free. We were asked to let people know about the film, which opens in limited release on August 15th, and so I thought I’d do my part by blogging it.

What can I say, it was a chick flick. It wasn’t as chick flicky as I expected though, which was nice. Sofia Milos plays a Portuguese fisherman’s widow in New Bedford, MA. She is a seamstress by day and sings in a restaurant at night. One night her daughter, played by Emmy Rossum, goes to a casino (enter willing suspension of disbelief #1 – this girl does NOT look 18) and meets Jason Isaacs, a card counter. He helps her win a little at blackjack, which prompts her to ask for card counting lessons. He says no, but then sees her mother sing and he ends up reluctantly striking a deal with her to give card counting lessons in exchange for help in wooing her mother who, although widow…

Bad Hair Day

I have Shirley Jones hair today. Specifically Shirley Jones in The Partridge Family hair. Oh the shame! I feel like I should be putting on a wide-collared paisley shirt and packing the kids onto the psychedelic bus. And then there’s that whole inverted Oedipal thing where I start thinking about my old Shaun Cassidy posters and how I used to kiss them and play his albums and the worst punishment EVER was not being allowed to watch The Hardy Boys. I’m going to have to wet it down and start over before I go out to the movie tonight.

And as a bit of a side note, while I was looking for Shaun Cassidy pages, I came across this Hardy Boys page. The images are terrifying now, and somehow we found this attractive in the '70s! And the SC concert photos are just wrong.


5 : CAPTIVATE, TAKE <smitten with her beauty>
intransitive senses : to deliver or deal a blow with or as if with the hand or something held
-Merriam-Webser Dictionary
At co-op dinner on Sunday, I blushed furiously talking about The Doc. The comment I got was "I don’t think I’ve seen chameleons change color that quickly." I didn't go into my usual gush though, which I think showed quite a lot of restraint. But they got the idea. And if not, I’m sure my inability to keep from mentioning him in almost every conversation will let people know how head over heels I am (and why isn’t that expression "heels over head?" That would make more sense as some sort of deviation from the norm). Even when I'm not talking about him, I'm thinking about him.

We talked on the phone twice this weekend. On the first call, Saturday afternoon/night (depending on your time-zone), I gave him step-by-step cooking instructions for pasta with a roasted pepper and garlic …

Weekend with The Roomie

I have to be the only person who can fall asleep during a rock concert. Naz and I went to see The Eels on Friday night and I actually dozed off during the show. And not during slow songs, mind you, I conked out during the loud stuff. I’m kind of bummed because I really like The Eels and was psyched to get a chance to see them. I guess I shouldn’t have had that beer before the show.

On Saturday we went to two early martial arts movies at the MFA. It’s nice that the HK flicks are coming back to Boston. Way back in my first summer here, we went to a series at the Brattle, where I got my first taste of the HK movie scene. It was so much fun, hell, that whole summer was fun, and I was hooked. After that I used to go to series at the Coolidge (and Brattle again) and a few at the MFA.

Since then, my movie going has gone way down, the Coolidge no longer does that sort of thing, the Brattle hasn’t had a full-on HK series in ages and the MFA is only just getting back into having HK Au…

ManRay May Close!!!

So here's to getting my news from the student paper. Man, now I'm feeling bad that I haven't been there in a year. That place could be a lot of fun (if you can get past the "go to be seen in the scene" atmosphere of the local pervs who can't seem to figure out that this place is supposed to be a dance club, not a private dungeon), and was one of the few places where I could get decked out in my whole kit and still be considered dressed down.
And the real kicker is that it's being done to put up apartments, which you just know are going to be hideously expensive and another nail in the culture coffin of Central Square. Fucking gentrification!
Article is here, by the way.

Silly Happy
Or: It's Got That New Relationship Smell

I have been gushing to all who will listen about The Doc. Ever since my mom asked "Are you and he romanically involved?" and I answered that yes, we were, all I can think of are those words "romanically involved." It's the closest to a label we've put on things and it came from my mom!

I sent him the email exchange between me and my mom with a lot of nervousness. I wasn't sure how he would take it as we really had left what we were up in the air (although he did ask me flat out if we were "going out" or if it was just a trans-Atlantic bootie call), but he said his heart did a dance when he read those two words. sigh From that moment on we've been even more cutsie and gushy, if that's even possible.

The distance is still an issue though. It's raining in Boston today, even harder than the rain that was coming down a week ago today when I left England. It's been one week since we last saw each other, since we last kissed, s…